Will allow molestation in exchange for employment...

So I'm off to church in about 20 minutes. Yes, church.

I have to get a letter from a priest in order to teach here in the lovely province of Alberta. You see, unlike the rest of Canada, Alberta still has a Roman Catholic Public School System and in order to work for them you have to get a "Pastoral Reference." So I'm gonna give it a shot and see if they'll give me a referral on good faith. They don't know me here so I'll have to use my charm and religious wisdom to get that signature.

Or if all else fails I will offer my body and hope the priest refuses.

I'm actually starting to get butterflies in my stomach now and I'm quite nervous about approaching some religious zealot and asking for this favour. Who knows what will happen. I have a feeling I'm gonna get a lecture and then he will excommunicate me.

Fuck it though. I know I'm worthy.

Jacobs is a wide-eyed wuss...

So I got a job with the Calgary Health Region. The pay is crap and its easy work. But you know what? It fuckin’ sucks. Working is the worst form of punishment… And to think I’m being punished just because my parents aren’t rich enough to give me a six figure job doing nothing at all. That’s what I want. I want a job which involves getting fried and getting paid for it.

And the other thing about work is this… It’s like a hysterectomy of your spirit. Everything is still there but you just can’t get nothing out of it. I can’t even think of anything to write blogs about now because I got nothing on my mind at all. Nothing. I get up at six in the morning and I’m at work for eight. I get off at four-thirty and I don’t get home until six. Then I got shit to do and food to cook and clothes to wash and bills to pay and shoes to buy and a face to shave and grass to cut and automated Roger’s Wireless voices to call and student loans to pay back. I just wanna be totally absorbed in myself once again, and I want Jacobs to stop being a wuss and get back on the dope.
Come on man!! I need you!

But that’s all I can think of now. Well, I also just remembered my buddy falling into a garbage can this weekend at the bar in Ponoka. That made me forget about work. Other than that I just wanna move back to the rock and get on welfare. Fuck pogey. You gotta work too much to get that.

But on a positive note, at least we live in a world where everyone knows the lyrics to Full Moon Fever (Tom Petty’s classic album).