World wide whore...

The www is awesome. Especially meeting chicks on it.

This week, I'll meet four girls. I've already met two of them and I don't think I'll follow up.

Saturday I'm meeting another girl when she finishes work at 11PM. I have high hopes for her. She smokes and I think she may be a little bit of a bad ass.

Then, I'm meeting this other chick who lives in my "dong" - means neighborhood in Korean. She's actually seen me around on the streets. Fucked.

I'm talking to her now on MSN tryna hook it up. I think this chick is really smart and "worldly."

Maybe she'll be too good for me...

Digital high five!

I've been bored at work so I decided to start creeping around some online dating sites.

Met a few Korean chicks in person from the site so far.

One even came home with me.

I was a good samaritan and wouldn't let her drive home because she was drunk. I was gonna pay for one of those services where someone comes and drives your car home for you. But instead she came back to my pad.

Technology is awesomer than I ever thought it was now.

And I always thought it was pretty awesome.

But now, the importance of technology in my life has increased exponentially.

Creepin'.

I can't remember...

I got no good stories 'cause I black out too much...

Catholics care...

Stumbled through my first red light district tonight by total chance...

My buddy (a fellow Newf) had a Heineken with the neck cracked off and I was wearing a leather jacket it so we didn't get no shit...

It was like a movie...

One of those awesome movies from the 1970's...

But I didn't feel safe even looking through the windows at the girls picking their red panties outta their ass...

The nun walking around in front of us was kinda cool though...

Walking into each establishment giving them pamplets to help turn around their lives...

Catholics care...

Yeah...

Remember Jean-Claude Van Damme. Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Double Impact and a bunch of other great action flicks that I loved as a child.

Well, look what he's "up" to now. It may be the best role he's ever done.

Home sweet home...

God, I miss Newfoundland sometimes.

I remember going home for X-mas one year and going to a buddies house looking for dope. He wasn't in his house but his truck was there so we knocked on the door to the garage. He came to the door all paranoid, wearing hip waders all covered in blood. He was like "there ain't no one else wit' ya is there?"

Nope.

So we go in the shed and he's cutting up a moose that he poached a few hours earlier. He quartered it in the woods and dragged it out piece by piece wrapped up in a tarp because he didn't want anyone to know about.

And he had dope...

Rap...

Heard this line in a rap song just now...

"My dick's longer than the O.J. trial."

Rap is great.

Holy holy holy...

She had to go to church.

So I got really drunk.

I may just give in to Chrisitianity. It might be easier to find a "suitable" girl that way.

Or I could just start going for sluts at the dance bars.

Yeah, that sounds like a better idea.

A sense of humor... Do you have one?

Rich says:
You're supposed to write something that's either witty or relevant to what's happening in your life at the moment
Rich says:
take my name for example
Rich says:
"No Fucking Way"
Rich says:
the first chick I went on a date here turned out to be a Christian
Rich says:
so that was that
Rich says:
then, I decided to go after one of the teachers at my school
Rich says:
she too, was also a Christian
Rich says:
I spend a lot of time at a bar called the "Red Dog"
Rich says:
during x-mas vacation this Korean girl "Su" worked there
Rich says:
she promptly disappeared after x-mas holidays
Rich says:
I was there a few days ago and she showed up and I was happy
Rich says:
we drank together and talked about life and it was quite refreshing
Rich says:
met up with her tonight after I watched some live boxing (which was awesome) and again we had a great night
Rich says:
tomorrow we're going to have dinner together and then go to a punk rock show
Rich says:
sooooo
Rich says:
anyways
Rich says:
I tell her that she better be prepared for a hard night of drinking on Saturday
Rich says:
and that we're gonna have to get a taxi home because the subway will be closed and with any luck, we'll both be blacked out and wasted
Rich says:
actually, I didn't say the blacked out thing but anyway
Rich says:
then
Rich says:
she tells me
Rich says:
that yes
Rich says:
she's a motherfucking Christian and that she can't stay out too late because she gota go to fucking church in the fucking morning
Rich says:
I'm stunned...
Rich says:
She was a bartender when I met her
Rich says:
the next time I saw her she's at the bar getting shitfaced on a Tuesday night
Rich says:
we talk about many unholy things
Rich says:
then she tells me she gotta go to church because her parents are hardcore Christians and they call her to make sure she goes
Rich says:
and hence my MSN name....
Rich says:
butr
Rich says:
I think I can get her drunk enough so that she'll come home with me anyway
Rich says:
and here's the best part
Rich says:
in the basement of my apartment building, yes, there's a church... for real... I ain't shittin' ya
Rich says:
so once again, my MSN name is relevant
Rich says:
got it?
Rich says:
that's what you write there
Rich says:
so now I'm gonna go smoke a bowl of Korean weed
Rich says:
that I paid over $600 Canadian for
Rich says:
and in your mind you must be saying "No Fucking WAy..."
Rich says:
Yes way
Rich says:
FUCK
Rich says:
I hate Korea... but I loves it too
Rich says:
I'm drunk
Rich says:
ignore everything I just wrote
Rich says:
once again, you're saying to yourself...
Rich says:
NO
Rich says:
FUCKING
Rich says:
....
Rich says:
nah, you're just saying "Richard's an idiot but that's why we like him"
Rich says:
goodnight
Rich says:
god bless

Smooth...

Me and Spence were out drinking at a couple of bars Friday night. The last place we went was a small place called Anderson Bar in Gangnam.

I started chatting with two Korean girls and was soon sitting at their table. Matt was soon at the table with us and shots of liquor kept appearing at the table for us. I still don't know who was paying for them. I had one too many and even had the sense to give my last one away but it was too little too late.

I knew I was gonna throw up and I also knew that I wouldn't be able to make it to the bathroom. At this point I had a choice to make. I could either run through the bar in an attempt to get outside and likely end up throwing up on someone, or I could to throw up (hopefully) inconspicuously under my seat. I was sitting to the left of the girls and something to the right was temporarily distracting so I made my decision and went for it.

It was a quick one shot vomit session and the Korean girls didn't even notice. I swiftly grabbed a few napkins from the table and cleaned a small bit of splatter from my pants, rinsed my mouth out with beer, pushed the barf under the seat, and carried on like nothing happened.

There was a Newfy girl there with us and she noticed my antics from across the bar. She gave me a "I must admit that was pretty slick" look and laughed. She was the one I gave the shot to that I couldn't drink.

Worked out pretty good. Turns out the girls were sisters, one being my age and the other being Matt's age. The chick who was my age is studying to become a dentist. The other one is a secretary.

I will be calling her soon because I really do need to find myself a sugar momma if I ever plan on moving back to Canada. It ain't like I'll get a teaching job.