Surviving a grizzly attack in Alberta...

In my endeavors to become a success there are a few things that I have to learn. One of them involves Grizzly Bears. I know very little about the wildlife that lives in Calgary but I am not one to take chances. I have a few friends who have planted trees in British Columbia (for you non-geography buffs out there, B.C. is just west of Alberta and the two provinces are adjacent) and they have told me many stories about bears. None of these stories involve people getting harmed by a bear but why take a chance.

With this in mind, I downloaded a 1976 film brilliantly titled "Grizzly."


I learned a few things from this film.

1. A Grizzly Bear will kill its prey and then bury it in a shallow hole. The bear does this because it is not very fond of fresh meat and so it allows the meat to rot a little before consuming it.

2. Because the Grizzly buries its food, it is a good idea to play dead after being attacked (assuming of course that you are still alive). After you are buried the Grizzly may go hang out somewhere else while it is waiting for you to rot. Once you feel that the Grizzly is at a far enough distance you can attempt to make your escape.

3. Grizzly bears would make very good soldiers. They have very thick skulls and a bullet will likely not penetrate to the brain. I learned the most effective way to kill a Grizzly from watching the film: You must shoot the bear with a rocket launcher.

With this information in tow, I now feel much safer about moving to Alberta to become rich.