Random thoughts about the Winter Olympics...

Olympic Hockey
Team Canada blew it and I blame Wayne Gretzky and Pat Quinn. Why didn't you take Spezza and have him on a line with Heatley? And why did you not have St. Loius, Richards, and Lecavalier on the same line? They play on the same fuckin' team in the NHL and are used to playing with each other (huh?). Why would you leave Crosby and Phaneuf back home just because they are young? When you look at the top 10 scorers in the NHL you will see that 5 are Canadian. Yet only 2 of them were on Team Canada (3 if you count Staal who never dressed, even though he is the 3rd leading scorer in the league). In my opinion, any player in the top 10 should have made the team. And finally, why in the fuck was Quinn the coach of this team? The Maple Leafs spend the most money in the NHL each year but Quinn cannot win them a Cup. This is because Pat Quinn is a loser and he always will be and because I am a Habs fan, I hope the Leafs keep him until his head is taken off by a puck. And don't go giving me this shit that he's an excellent international coach. Look at the talent he had on these teams when they won the last Olympics and whatever else he's won as Canada's coach. With the skill on those teams I could have led them to a gold medal! And I am convinced that a better coach could have inspired 2006's Team Canada to win a gold medal. Fuck you Pat Quinn.

Brad Gushue and the Men's Curling Team
Fuck the National Post or the Globe and Mail (or whatever newspaper it was) and Randy Ferbey. You assholes thought that the team of dumb Newfs didn't stand a chance. Well fuck you and you and you and you and the rest of Canada. If they weren't Newfs the media and that Ferbey loser would not have said anything about this team not being good enough. Now who's not good enough? Yup, that's right. The rest of the whole world ain't good enough, that's who.

What's the deal with figure skating?
I was watching a Chinese team do some sort of ice dancing bullshit in the Olympics and the male threw the female into the air and she wiped out and appeared to be injured. After about 7 minutes of them talking to judges and skating around to skate off the injury, they finished their routine and never made another mistake. When the scores were announced this team was in second place. I was so disgusted that I turned off the TV. How can you fuck up a trick, then take 7 minutes to regain your composure and still get second place?? It just seems ridiculous to me. They should have been penalized for taking such a long break or something. Bullshit.

Who was in charge of the opening ceremonies??
I thought the opening ceremonies were really weird. If I was on mushrooms I may have smashed the TV because I don't think I would have been able to handle it. For example, what in the hell is this thing??


Or how about this?? It reminds me of something from the Stanley Kubrick movie with Cruise and Kidman before Tom went all teeny-bopper.


And what's wrong with this guy? And what is he suppoesd to be doing? I cannot figure it out.


What's up with this dove? I thought a dove represented peace, not pure terror. Look at this thing. It belongs on the cover of a death metal album.


Now this next picture makes a little bit of sense to me. These dudes must have said "Man, this is pretty trippy shit. Maybe we should smoke a pipe load and then we might understand what's going on here." It was a noble idea, but when the Italian busted out the hash pipes he overdid it once again. And to make matters worse, the dude with the lighter-helmet in the first picture had already left because he knew Yoko Ono would soon be appearing.


The craziest thing about the 2006 Winter Olympics is that I cannot find a picture of Yoko Ono's appearance anywhere? If you have seen one on the net please leave a comment with the link. When Yoko was reading that poem I felt embarrassed for all of the people of Asian descent all over this planet. She could have at least memorized the shitty poem, but then again, she is a stupid bitch.

"Peace."