Yes, I Think Your Province Sucks...

So the theme of this blog was supposed to be my attempt at figuring out a way to get rich. I will be the first to admit that this is actually the poorest I've ever been. I have to borrow money from my 17 year old brother fairly regularly and my only source of income is a tutoring gig for two hours a week.

But I did take the first step in the right direction a few days ago when I bought a plane ticket to Vancouver (Vancouver you ask? Well, no... It isn't in Alberta... So yes... I probably won't be getting rich anytime soon... But it is right next door to Alberta so I am getting closer to the pot of gold).

So I buy the ticket and then a friend of mine unexpectedly shows up in Deer Lake (my temporary/permanent address) the next day and tells me that she is now a flight attendant with buddy passes. She gets 16 more of these passes next month so she says I can have a pass which will get me as far as Calgary (which is in Alberta) for FREE!?

So I spend 500 bucks and the next fuckin' day someone offers me a free ticket out West. Just my luck (Yes, I will take the free ticket and keep the $500 credit with Air Canada for a future move).

So that's that and here's this...

Somewhere during the last year I had the idea of making up a t-shirt for each Province of Canada. I never did get this finished but I will show you what has been completed thus far. And I am sure that if someone would invest in this enterprise we could both become rich men (a woman would know better than to come anywhere near this).

First, the best Province in Canada: Newfoundland (Fuck Labrador!!)


This shirt is for the Newfy who is sick and tired of voting Liberal just because his/her parents do. But it is not for hippies who would vote NDP. These hippies would probably dig real deep and find a way to be offended by this shirt. Just because it was created by a pure blond-haired blue-eyed elitist should have nothing to do with this.
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The next shirt speaks totally for itself (for those non-Canadians out there, Quebec is a French Province full of artsy fartsy queers).


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Next, we have Nova Scotia. I couldn't really think of anything interesting to say about Nova Scotia so I just picked one county or region or whatever you call it.


Okay, so Cape Bretoners think they are the shit. As a Newf, I know that they are just shit. If they think they are so cool why don't they just seperate from Nova Scotia and become their own Province. Then Newfoundland and Cape Breton can have a game of curling to settle the dispute of what Province is the best.
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And finally we come to Alberta!!! Now, this shirt was designed before I knew I wanted to be rich so keep that in mind before judging my motives and message.

So ask yourself "Who do people hate?" Yup, that's right, we hate anyone who is better or wealthier than ourselves. Ontario used to be the most deadly Province in Canada but now its Alberta so its time to change hate. Simple really.
So someone step forth and buy these shirt designs because if I catch you scamming my resources (i.e. my shirt designs) I'll do what a Newf typically does when getting ripped off by Canadian slimebags: Absolutely nothing!!!!